March 12, 2021, Friday
Lately quarantine has shifted my life a lot. I find it hard to keep up on my school work and I’m always so frustrated and in the end give up. Getting help to me is a step back because it shows I somehow can’t do things by myself. For example, in science we are learning about the tectonic plates of the earth and we had to make a model. I had no idea where to start and my classmates that I was in a breakout room with weren’t helping at all. Now I’m stuck with the missing assignment and still don’t know how to fix it. School just keeps getting harder by the day and my mind just wants a break.
February 19, 2021
I don’t even know where to start, but I can definitely say that I have changed of the last few months. My friends, family, teachers, and even myself have noticed that I am more sad and all I want to do is lay in bed all day. I pull the covers over my head each morning when I hear my alarm and don’t want to get up. Only some days, (like today) have I felt motivated enough to even get dressed. After school, I crawl back in bed and stay on my phone. I know this isn’t healthy but it keeps me busy and somehow in a way entertained. On days like today I felt motivated and destroyed at the same time. I worked out and did all my school work. Taking a warm shower and eating healthy didn’t stop me from getting back in bed. Over the past 3 days my mom, dad, grandma, aunt, and two of my friends told me they were concerned and that I had changed. I didn’t want them to know how I felt much less see it on the outside. This made me upset and I pushed them all away. When I’m sad almost everyday it is about many things. But when someone confronts me about it I get mad. I know things have changed but I don’t think it is all COVID-19s fault. Not staying home all day and sitting on a computer for many hours is all that happened. Even if its a sunny day ( like today ) I still felt like it was pouring down raining.
I really hoped it had snowed when I woke up today at six o’clock. I usually don’t get up this early but for some reason, I did today. Even though the days feel longer this one is feeling extra slow. School has been pretty easy but tiring. Even though I have all A’s, and participate in class a lot, it still stresses me out. I just wish we could be back to normal and have homework studies in the Library like we used to.
I wonder when we are going to go back. At least part time. I want to know so I have an estimated time to get ready. This coming Sunday I am going to a church life group get together outside and I am so excited for that! Even though we have to wear masks, I can still see my friends which is a plus!
Nothing too exiting has been happening lately. I guess my friend got a new cat which is cool! I haven’t really made anything except a song or two on my ukulele. I like to write and play songs to pass the time. I started learning how to play after Halloween, and I fell I have come a long way in the music world!
this week was like last mostly staying home and watching tv to pass times, and fidgeting, lots of fidgeting, I never really noticed how often I fidget, like I’ll be shaking my foot or messing with my fingers or twisting my body, and I had no idea I did that. I have been working on my room here and ther but it’s not that I don’t want to do it I just can’t get myself to do it, but I’ll get somehting done here and there, it looks better than what I started with and that was BAD. It actully snowed a bit here it was pretty cool, cept I disappeared pretty quickly and I was in class so I couldn’t play with it or anything, other than that it’s just been cool and rainy. No one I know of has gotten Covid, my brother got Covid TESTED, he got his wisdom teeth removed, he didn’t say anything to funny sadly, he just hummed here and there, but he fell asleep for a long time so he was over the anesthesia when he got up. Thats the most exciting things this week, again just been kinda lonely, I’m hoping I can see my friends soon, I hope there ok, I don’t have much way to contact some of them and I know they’ve had trouble with there emotions and I hope there being healthy I just wish I was there to help them feel better.
This is my first time sharing how my quarantine has been and I’m gonna start from the beginning. Last year school got pushed to only online. It was a heck of a lot easier too. Over the beginning of quarantine I was working out constantly. Then I got the news that football was cancelled and I lost my mojo. I have started to get it back slowly. The worst part of quarantine was when the fires were raging. You kinda feel helpless in the way were you can’t control anything. School this year has been kinda rough, it has been hard to stay motivated to log onto to zoom everyday. It can really take a toll on someone mentally that’s why I try to hang with people I like as much as possible. Now there is the political drama and people just can’t seem to accept someone with different views. That’s all for this week.
June 8, 2020
So much has happened over these months in quarantine. There have been so many ups and downs, and there has been so much uncertainty in the world. As the school year comes to an end, the United States has less sickness and more chaos. We have not seen chaos like this since the 1960’s. When I look back over this crazy time, I realize just how mind-blowing all of this has been. However, throughout this time, everything had an odd sense of normalcy to it. Even in the beginning, when all the stores and restaurants had signs on them saying “Closed due to COVID-19”, it almost felt normal. It was almost as if it was nothing out of the ordinary. Now, as I am writing this, it has been 89 days since March 11, 2020. 89 days since one of the key dates in this pandemic. 89 days since stepping foot in Cal Young. 89 days since seeing my teachers and classmates. Over 89 days since eating inside of a restaurant. 89 days since being able to go places without worrying about risks. 89 days since normalcy, or something close to it. 89 days of quarantine.
This pandemic has had so many negatives come out of it. However, there have also been so many positives. I have always been very grateful for school, especially for the teachers and other faculty that work so hard to give us an education. However, I have become even more grateful for school during this time. I have seen how hard all of the teachers and staff have worked during this time, and they have done an incredible job creating a new environment for us to learn in. I am forever grateful for them. This pandemic has also made many people more grateful for the simple things in life. Such as, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, sanitizing wipes, medicine, etc. I feel like we never see the significance of something until we almost do not have it. Sometimes, we have to lose something just to realize how much we appreciate it. This also applies when talking about school, friends, family, restaurants, stores, etc. In some ways, this pandemic has provided us with many positives. Some of which, we may not have realized without COVID-19.
Now that the school year is winding down, I am realizing that I am ending my time at Cal Young, and that I will be a freshman at the end of this week. It still has not fully sunk-in. I never thought my 8th grade year would end like this. However, I am excited to see what next year will bring, and I am forever grateful for all of the amazing staff at Cal Young who made this strange year, and the other years, possible. I am excited, and nervous, to be starting high school. But, I am excited to see what the future holds, and to see what will happen next.
June 1st, 2020
A few days ago I made my own Midori style travelers notebook from by hand and I’m really proud of how it came out! It has a faux leather outside and an Aztec pattern lining with stitching on the edges. I wanted to make this journal to keep all of my quarantine entries in because I really like writing about my day and the affect quarantine has in my life. I’m probably going to keep writing journal entries about my day even after quarantine. I was feeling super awful yesterday because I had a lot of stress and quarantine wasn’t helping because I cant really be with my friends to kind of unwind. My head was pounding and my neck hurt a lot. I couldn’t go to bed because I felt BAD. I really wanted to paint or create an artwork but I just couldn’t come up with ideas, so I started watching art YouTube videos and it “inspired” me. I got out my journal and started making a pencil drawing of a sunflower, but I wasn’t feeling like I usually do when drawing. I had art block! I finally just said “whatever” and started scribbling with paint markers and other mediums. Then I made sort of a representation of how different art mediums can make one object be so different. That really relaxed me and I could finally go to sleep.