Entry #59


I don’t even know where to start, but I can definitely say that I have changed of the last few months. My friends, family, teachers, and even myself have noticed that I am more sad and all I want to do is lay in bed all day. I pull the covers over my head each morning when I hear my alarm and don’t want to get up. Only some days, (like today) have I felt motivated enough to even get dressed. After school, I crawl back in bed and stay on my phone. I know this isn’t healthy but it keeps me busy and somehow in a way entertained. On days like today I felt motivated and destroyed at the same time. I worked out and did all my school work. Taking a warm shower and eating healthy didn’t stop me from getting back in bed. Over the past 3 days my mom, dad, grandma, aunt, and two of my friends told me they were concerned and that I had changed. I didn’t want them to know how I felt much less see it on the outside. This made me upset and I pushed them all away. When I’m sad almost everyday it is about many things. But when someone confronts me about it I get mad. I know things have changed but I don’t think it is all COVID-19s fault. Not staying home all day and sitting on a computer for many hours is all that happened. Even if its a sunny day ( like today ) I still felt like it was pouring down raining.

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