Psychedelic   

My decision, my choice. I love an adventure, but how could it be an adventure without fear and danger? Flashback when I was a senior in high school. I dated one guy. His name was Mason.  Everybody thought he was pure and innocent, but no one knew his dark side. Except me. I knew everything about him. We used to be so close together, but once he moved we didn’t really talk anymore. I knew one thing that he would never forget is about our “ history”, and neither would I. We had an intense summer together that both of us will never forget until our souls leave our bodies…

It was a glorious summer day. I met Mason at his house. He was getting ready to take me on an adventure. Not a physical adventure, but a mental one. He prepped the ‘shrooms and we were ready to roll. As soon as he handed the ‘shrooms to me, I said, “Babe, I’m scared. I’ve never done this before.”

Mason replied back with a soft, calm voice, “Babe, it’ll be ok. I’m right here if you need me.”

After the conversation settled down, I quickly ate the magic mushrooms and got ready for what would come next. The time was running by. I saw a wavy rainbow rug. The creepy, indescribable sounds came in and out of my ears. It was really intense; I couldn’t handle it. What should I do? I couldn’t handle my feelings. The feelings of jealousy, fear, love, pain, and past. Thousands of stories were being projected in my head as if I were in the theater. I was in an intensely mixed emotional state of mind. Soon I gave up. Instead of fighting back, I accepted and appreciated everything that I was experiencing. We let our bodies be free and let our minds fall into psychedelic imagination.

Suddenly my phone reminded me that my period had not come in three months. My heart dropped to the ground. My mind went blank. I couldn’t see my future if I had another life living inside of me. I went to the bathroom to take a deep breath before I decided to tell Mason. I was afraid, but I knew I couldn’t handle it by myself. I couldn’t talk to anyone except him. I tried to make it to the bed, but my body was shivering like the lava that was about to explode. When Mason saw me on the ground, he got up and took me to the bed. He asked, “ What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Please tell me!”  

I looked at him, and all of the sudden my tears stormed off of my eyes, “ Babe, my period hasn’t come in three months… I’m so stupid as fuck…. If that night I didn’t let my body control me, this would never have happened.”

His face froze. He went blank for a second, but I know he was listening. I didn’t know what was going on. All I knew was I’m still on the psychedelic. I didn’t know what happened  next, but we were at the pharmacy already. He walked directly to the counter and asked for the plan B pill. The pharmacist explained, “ This pill works best five days after sex. If your period does not come in two weeks, please check in with the hospital.” After she said that, I got even more worried. It had been six days that we kept having sex without a condom. I felt lost. My future, my life, my career. All disappeared.

The next  day began, but I wasn’t ready for it. I really wanted to stop everything and start it all over. There was nothing I could have done. All the pressure was attacking me; I felt like it was happening inside of me. There was a big storm destroying my happiness. I looked through the window and saw a bong packed with half of the leftover weed that I did with Mason last night. I lit it up like I wanted my life to be. I took a couple hits until I couldn’t think of anything else. I was laughing, but I could feel the tears were all over my face.  I had a dream where I saw a blonde haired baby run into me. He hugged me tightly, and said, “ I love you, Mommy.”

I jumped up from the bed, and yelled, “ NOOOO!”  My mom and dad rushed to knock on my door, panicky to see if I was ok. I told them I was fine.  It was just a nightmare ( I hoped ), so they didn’t have to come into my room. I went into the bathroom and sat in the hot steamy water. I let the water run over my body to calm me down. After that, I put on my clothes, ready to get some fresh air outside. As I stepped out from my house, I saw Mason park his car, waiting for me.

He said, “ Hey, come in the car.” I didn’t ask him where he was planning to take me, but I went in anyway. It was silent. The only thing I heard was the sound of the wind blowing through my hair as Mason drove at high speed. He stopped the car in front of a hospital, and said, “ Alright, are you ready to take the test?” I had no idea what he was talking about, but I nodded. An hour later, the doctor came out with the result.

He smiled at me and said, “ Here is your re…” I was so nervous and panic that it make me ran out the door before the doctor could finish his sentence. I was crying in the car until I could not feel my face anymore. I was thinking that I wish I could just disappeared  without anyone noticing. But was that really going to solve this problem? Or did I have to keep running away from the truth?

Five minutes later, Mason came back to the car with the result paper. He asked me,

“ Why did you run away from the doctor? Did you hear the result yet? ”

I  accidentally yelled back at him as loud as I could,

“ I knew it, I knew it was positive!!! ”

“ Can you just calm down and listen?”

I didn’t say anything, but I knew I was mad when he told me that.

“ You are not pregnant you little attitude girl! And, next time make sure you listen to the doctor before you freak out, ok?”

He reached to my body and hugged me tightly. Soon, a big giant smile appeared on my face with some tears on it. I still remembered how relieved I felt when I heard that. I was really glad that I did create another life while I could not talk care of it.

From that experience,  I matured a lot in a short time. It taught me to make the right decision and be more careful about having sex. One mistake, and that can change your life. I hope my story might help teenagers these days prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Just keep in mind that you’re probably not going to be that lucky girl next time!