Kelle
This is it. It’s finally time to kill my boyfriend. Boo is on his way to pick me up and should be arriving any minute. I have rehearsed the plan over in my head a million times: give him the daboluous penoluous with the sloth poisoned daboluous oil. Earlier, I gave his drug dealer, Ketcha, the laced oil and told her to add this into the cart, saying it was a new strand that Boo wanted to try. After graciously tipping her a few tens, she reluctantly filled the cart with my devious oil.
Now I know this all sounds a bit… what’s the word… crazy ? But it has to be done. My family’s rules state no relationships longer than seven months. I thought Boo was really special and wanted to maximize our time, but since we’ve been together for a little over a year, the rules state that he must die. I continue to tell myself that long relationships are too intimate and there’s a risk of someone catching on.
You see, my family is a part of a top secret writing club. They write some of the most amazing stories about human existence, all of which are worth thousands of dollars. People have been trying to find the club for decades now, but the mystery of the author is half of what makes the books so captivating. Preserving this power over their readers is why it’s very important that the rules are followed. Because I’m in no way gifted with writing, I feel extra obligated to follow and enforce them. While reminding myself of this, I pace across my hardwood floor, anxiously waiting. Suddenly, a knock at the door makes me jump.
I take a breath and feel ready for what lies ahead. The door opens to Boo standing tall with a sloppy grin that lights up his eyes. I feel my heart warm but quickly push the feeling away. We exchange passionate greetings and then drive to the park down the street.
When we arrive, we lay down in the field and look up at the sky. ‘Get a hold of yourself,’ I say in my head while laying in his warm embrace. Finally, I build up enough courage to begin the process. Propping myself up, I say,
“Oh! I got your new cart today. It’s supposed to be blackberry-flavored, I think”.
“Awesome, thank you, you beautiful ray of sunshine,” he says while kissing my head. He brings the penoluous up to his lips and I take in a sharp breath. As the smoke fills his lungs, I can see the captivating light dimmer in his blue eyes. Within seconds, his lifeless body flops across the ground. I can’t help but look at him for a few seconds. A wave of sadness drowns me momentarily but I quickly gain control and swim to the surface.
I hop into my car and take a breath before glancing at my hanging sloth air freshener. Feeling calmed, my car reverses and drives me home. I crawl into bed and dream dreams of a blue-eyed boy.
Detective Twey
It’s 7:45 in sunny Banja, Lipkin, and I just sat down to enjoy my morning coffee and newspaper. Within moments of relaxing in the silence that comes with early mornings, my phone rings in my pocket. I look down to see the Caller ID reads Detective Deck, my boss.
In answering the call, he tells me about the murder of a teenage boy named Bootang Horne. Bootang was found last night at Stone Park. A daboluous penoluous was found in his pocket and they tested to find what it was. In finding a mixture of marjuana and sloth poison, Detective Deck wants me to go and talk to the drug dealer. They found the dealer, Ketcha, by examining the cart and finding her tiny initials along the side of the mouth piece.
I quickly get dressed and drive to the address of the drug dealer. When I arrive, it’s only around 9:00, so the neighborhood is only just now awakening. I firmly knock until a small woman with long black hair opens the door.
“What do you want?” she asks with curiosity and a splash of sass.
“My name is Detective Twey and I’m here to talk to you about …”
Before I finish, the door slams in my face with a loud thud. I huff before talking through the closed door, “It’s off the record, nothing can be held against you. I just need your name and a few minutes to talk to you about a boy named Bootang. He died last night from laced marijuana.”
The door opens and the woman walks away, muttering, “Come in.”
I walk in and cigarette smoke fills my lungs and slightly fogs my vision. We sit down on a grungy black leather couch that squeaks every time you move. Ketcha sits across from me and I begin to ask her random questions about Bootang. She doesn’t say a ton, only that he was a long time customer.
After minutes of helpless interrogation, she remembers something.
“Wait, his girlfriend came and picked up his stuff yesterday. I forgot that she had us put in her own daboluous into his penoluous. We were kinda sussed but just went with it.”
“I have to find his girlfriend!” I exclaim. After thanking Ketcha, I speed to the office.
I run into the office and deliver the news to Detective Deck. He makes some calls and finds out that the girlfriend’s name is Kelle Heinz. They give me her address and I lead a group of detectives to her house. When we arrive, we pass a grey Subaru that has a sloth air freshener hanging in the rear mirror. I gasp seeing the grey fluffy animal, remembering the daboluous was laced with sloth poison.
“This is her!” I shout to my team, signaling an immediate break in.
“Hands up!” One guy says as we break down the door. Kelle is sitting on the couch watching Criminal Minds. “Ironic,” I think to myself and slightly chuckle before remembering my mission.
Two guys handcuff Kelle and take her down to the station. I stay behind at the crime scene to make sure everything is sorted out and correctly dealt with. Detective Deck finds me and pats me on the back as he says, “I’m proud of you, boy. You’ve done good. Now go home and try to enjoy the rest of your Sunday”.
I chuckle and thank my boss. “So much for a relaxing Sunday,” I think laughing to myself as I get into my car and drive home.
Kelle
I get loyalty to your family is everything, but damn, I did NOT see that coming. But I’m not worried. If my ancestors kept themselves a secret for this many years, getting me out of this situation should be easy. I mean they’re the most powerful and sought-after group for god sakes, prison is nothing compared to that.
