Non-Fiction
Jokes by the Sea
I felt like Martin Brody from Jaws, except I was laying flat on my stomach with my arms and legs fighting to have a spot on my 5’10 surfboard. The tangy smell of sex wax and salt water stinging my nose, and how could I can’t forget the shark fin gliding towards my good friend James and I about twenty yards away. How did we end up in that situation? Well it’s quite simple actually.
It was Saturday morning. One of the most anticipated days of the week, along with Sunday because of football. Every Saturday I would go do something with some friends, and Friday at school I asked James if he wanted to go surfing the next morning. James was one of my better friends. We would hang out almost every week regardless of what we had going on. So with not much surprise; he said he’ll go. Friday after school I picked one of the three boards I had and put a fresh coat of wax on it.
The regulars knew the best spots and times to surf at. Unfortunately for us, the best spot was about thirty minutes away and neither of us had a car. So we settled for the next best thing. Skating over to Hartford beach approach in the morning. The morning was my favorite time to surf at because it wasn’t unbearably muggy yet. The afternoon wasn’t a bad time to go, the problem was that’s when people would show up with their families and the waters had to be shared.
James and I skated over to Hartford beach approach at 7:30 a.m. It was a typical Florida morning. The sun was beaming its warm glow down on us, and the sky was like an empty sea with only a few stratus clouds scattered across the sky. The neighborhood had large trees (sadly I can’t remember what type) and middle class houses packed tightly next to each other. The closer to the beach you got, the more palm trees and business there were selling touristy items. The beach was beautiful as always. The soft white sand covering your feet like a blanket. The blue sea opening its arms welcoming all to go in, and a horizon that went on forever.
Next thing I knew James and I were running to the waters like elementary school kids to the playground for recess. Hartford beach approach didn’t have a lifeguard tower near it. That’s why the buddy system is really important when going to surf. No one is on the beach at that time, except a few morning walkers, and James would be there in case anything happened.
It was a calm morning. Which meant there weren’t very many waves, and when there would be one. It would die out before it white capped. Many people including myself when that happened would call it…unfortunate. So James and I were laying stomach down on our boards talking about what happened in class the day before. Every so often perking our heads up thinking we saw a wave that had promise, but then simmering down once the result was the same as the seemingly thousand times before.
During our conversation I looked over to our right and saw a fin. Having seen this many times before I told James to look over at the dolphin swimming around. The fin was slicing through the waters like a knife in warm butter. The fin came closer. Now about twenty yards away, then ducked under the water submerging itself. We waited wondering where it would pop up again so we could continue to look at it in awe. This time it popped up diagonally to our right and began to swim around us slowly getting closer. The thought came to my mind, but I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to be that guy.
Then James looked at me and asked, “Does that fin look straight to you?”
“Yeah. It kind of does.” I replied with a monotone voice.
Just like that. We both were shot into a state of panic. A shark circling around its prey waiting to get it’s morning snack, except we were the snack lying lifelessly on the board making sure no limbs were hanging off. I looked at the shore and no one was there. Just the two of us waiting to be brutally devoured. I’ve seen shark week. I know the way sharks tear up prey with no remorse. James must have had the same idea because the look on his face was put in stone. He looked weak and all color was drained from his face.
The fin dipped back under water and now appeared to our left. Then submerged and appeared behind us. Once more popping up in front. It was moving so fast it seemed like there were two of them. Three of them, a whole pack of sharks waiting for the right moment to strike. My eyes were locked on the straight fin; which began to look unnatural. It seemed as if a chunk was missing off the top and healed making it much shorter.
“Does that fin look injured to you?” James asked.
“Yeah. It kind of does.” I said now gaining hope we wouldn’t die.
“The other fin has a curve on it!” I cried feeling relieved.
“I see it too.” James said with an embarrassed chuckle.
We got all worked up about two dolphins swimming around giving us a show. They swam around us for another fifteen seconds or so, then dipped under water and left.
The waters were still calm with no intention of changing. So after our spook we decided to ride the next baby wave to shore and head home. As we walked onto dry land. The sand tickled my feet like it was laughing. The seagulls were squawking what just happened to James and I to all their friends, and the sea was once again welcoming us waiting to see if we were gullible enough for round two.