Friday nights are for the stars

For blinding love and fast red cars

For long black hair and your face in mind

For times when focus is hard to find

For yellow lights that pass us by

For moments where time did fly

For teenage romance that never lasts

For a day we don’t realize will go by fast

Far away in the back of my mind is the memory of you.

Wrapped in silk and tucked away out of sight and thought.

I fear that if I open it those thoughts will come flooding back;

Sticky with sentiment and warm with a glow much to lovely to linger free.

I cannot let you back because I fear I am to fragile

Though I am cautious I still have hope that one day you’ll forget me,

Because I need something to tell me how to live without your presence

Before I can believe in good again and finally let you leave me.

Giant hands wrapped tightly around my tiny arm as we stumbled through the empty bottles on the floor. Shiny black shoes that scuffled over concrete as we made our way to the van. These moments shaped my life today. At five years old I was taken from my mother’s home because of her consistent drinking and abuse, and put into the foster system. From that moment on I felt I was no longer my own person. Until i turned 18 I was property of the state, and I still had one more year to go. Tossed around from home to home and parent to parent. The only thing that stayed constant in my life was my school. Everyday I waited for the bell to ring and dismiss the students. Today was no different except for the terrible itching from the speckling of bed bug bites that covered my legs. They were a new addition to my already crappy living situation. I had told my foster mom Beth about them but she didn’t seem too concerned. Instead she told me just to sleep on top of the covers. I asked her if I could get some kind of bug killer from the basement, but she yelled at me for even mentioning it. I was never supposed to go down there because it was forbidden. She threatened my freedom and I didn’t quite know what that meant, but I wasn’t about to find out.

The school bell rang, snapping me out of my steadfast gaze, and the fluster of backpacks and flurry of voices returned to its rightful place in the hallways. I made my way out the door and began to take the long route home. Most days I prefered to take my time on the walk. It gave me a moment to truly think without any distraction. When I got home I knew I would be surrounded by that ever present anxiety again. Beth was strict with me; she told me it was her responsibility to make sure I had my head on straight. I thought I did, but according to her I was just a messed up kid.

When I got home I noticed the door was open. It swung on its rusty hinges, letting the dry breeze blow through the house and out the open window. Cautiously, I peeked inside to find nothing that seemed out of the ordinary. Everything was where it always had been, including the massive pile of empty Diet Pepsi bottles. Stepping inside the house seemed wrong, but I was too curious not to.

Everything seemed still. There was no sensation of movement and no sound except the floorboards that creaked beneath my feet with each step. Then I heard it. Whispered voices belonging to two people floated up the stairs from the basement. I assumed one of them was Beth, but the other person was a mystery to me. I stood at the top of the stairs. My heels lifted off the ground as I strained my neck, attempting to get a glimpse at the figures. A soft light glowed, illuminating the bottom of the staircase. The shadows of the figures loomed on the floor and I could tell they were arguing. I took a few steps down the stairs to get a better listen. Finally the voices were clear to me. One of them was Beth and the other voice was a man I didn’t recognize. He sounded gruff and mysterious. Maybe a friend of Beth’s? Maybe more than a friend?

“Hey,” said Beth in a panicked voice. “There is no way we are gonna be able to bullshit our way out of this. We gotta get outta here.”

“I agree.” said the Man. “Do you have a plan on what to do about the girl?”

My chest tightened. Was he talking about me? My mind raced with the possibilities. What did he mean by a plan? Was I in the way of some great escape these two were attempting? Beth spoke again.

“God!” she proclaimed. “I can’t just leave her here. They’ll ask questions. They’ll send the police after me.” She paused. “We could take her with us.”

“Are you insane, Beth?” asked the man. “If we include her in the deal, part of that money goes to her. You know the amount of money we’re going to get from these bundles. You wouldn’t want anything to get in the way of your cut, right?”

Drugs. That was what Beth hiding down there. All this time she was planning this huge escape and taking it all with her. That man was probably helping her. And as far as I was concerned, none of this led to a happy ending for me. I could feel the blood rush to my head as  panic overtook me. I caught myself as I began to fall, my foot thudding on the next step down. A moment of silence passed and then the next thing I knew, I was being chased up the stairs. Tears rolled down my cheeks and cascaded into my mouth, leaving a salty taste. The large man grabbed for me as I fled out the door. His hands were the width of my torso and his face told me I was in trouble. He grabbed my arm. I swung around and kicked as hard as I could, my foot landing between his legs. My escape was obvious and I sprinted down the street as he toppled to the ground, moaning in pain as he went down. In the distance I could hear Beth’s desperate cries as she gasped for air. ”Diana, you little bitch!” she cried. But I wasn’t worried about her catching me. She was too fat to run.

In the next few days I found myself on the run. I didn’t exactly have a place to stay but anywhere was better than back at that foster home. I wasn’t able to predict what the future held for me or even the next few weeks, but I knew I was better off on my own than with Beth. It would have been too risky pretending to go along with their plan. People already didn’t trust me because of my troubled past and that would have made it worse. Whatever happened next in my life would be hard, but at least I had my school to go back to.

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