All the memories.
The times we wish would come back,
But it wouldn’t be the same.
Nov 14
Winter
The frigid air weaves through her hair
She feels so bare
As the cold nips at her skin
Just like it’s always been
When she doesn’t notice this it’s rare
It’s almost a scare
She usually feels pins
But when she doesn’t somethings wrong within
Nov 14
Betrayal
Betrayal consumes her.
There’s nothing left but the dark void;
The void where she use to exist;
Where she use to thrive,
That was before her walls came crashing down.
The bricks hit every important part of her,
Smashing them to dust,
Never to be seen again
And leaving her with nothing.
Nov 14
Just Tell Me Why
I should’ve been use to the yelling and slamming by then, but It all still trembled in my ears. Ever since mom left when I was eight, to the day I didn’t come home, he was always yelling.
I was getting ready for the party as he stormed into my room, screaming at me and yelled, “Nicole, your skirt is way too short. If you’re not careful something’s gonna happen that you won’t like!” As he was saying that, I pushed past him and ran out the door to my best friend Christine’s house. It was a chilly fall night in Buffalo Oklahoma. The leaves were slowly falling from the trees while turning to different yellows and reds, contrasting with the Halloween decorations. I felt an almost erie feeling as I made my way through the deserted neighborhood. I just shook off that feeling and told myself that that night was going to be fun. I was a senior, so it was my last halloween in Buffalo with all of the people I grew up with.
I got to Christine’s and she was in the traditional slutty cat costume that she’d worn for the last three years; it suited her though. I on the other hand was wearing a school girl costume, but my skirt was just above my knee caps and my shirt was a long sleeved turtleneck. As we waited on Eric to pick us up, we just talked about the night.
It was half way through the night and I already lost Eric and Christine in the hectic crowd of insecure, attention seeking people. I shoved my way up the stairs, trying not to smell the body oder radiating in the air. Then, as I walked into the first door on my right, I found them. Christine was on top of Eric. I froze for a second until Eric’s eyes met mine. I ran, weaving through all the people.
Once outside, Eric grasped my arm way too hard. I could feel the bruises forming under his finger tips. He kept profusely saying that he was sorry and how it meant nothing, but I couldn’t think and didn’t say a word. Then, he got closer to me and right in my face. I told him to stop and to leave me alone, but he kept creeping closer.
Then you showed up and pushed him off of me, and he stumbled off. I didn’t know who you were; that was weird to me because everyone knows everyone in Buffalo. You helped me up as I started bawling. I told you everything; I didn’t even know you, but I told you anyway. We walked down the street, and I felt perfectly safe.
The next thing that I remember is waking up in a bed that was not mine. I kept trying to remember where I was, but I couldn’t remember for the life of me. I still can’t. I called out, asking if anyone was there and you walked through the door. I was more confused than I’ve ever been in my life. You wouldn’t answer any of my questions, except one. You told me your name was Jamie. I’ve always liked the name Jamie; it sounded so harmless.
You told me that you had to go do something and that you’d be back later. I had no idea how long I’d been all alone for. It seemed like days but it could’ve been hours. There wasn’t a clock or even a window, so I had no way of knowing. All I knew was that I had to get out of there. I thought that my dad was going to kill me and if I didn’t get back to school I could fall too far behind and lose my chances of getting out of this town.
Then I heard a door slam, and my heart started to race. It felt like it was trying to jump out of my chest. You started to turn the door knob, and I sprinted for the bed, pretending I was sleeping. I could feel your eyes on me as you got closer. When you got so close that I could feel your breath breeze through my hair, I jumped up and ran as fast as I could towards the door. After that I just saw a screen door in between me and my future. I could feel you grasping for me, but I was just out of touch until we reached the street. It was dark out and the stars were brighter than I’ve ever seen them.
You finally reached my arm and tugged me back. It was gentle though. I couldn’t feel your fingers dig so far in that they left bruises, like when Eric did it. You turned me toward you and started to say something before two headlights came into view. You looked back and forth between me and the car as if you were debating on staying or fleeing. Your gaze stopped at me as the people in the car got out. You looked sorry as you let go of my arm and ran away. I collapsed to me knees. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you as you disappeared into the darkness.Then I felt someone drop down next to me and squeeze me so hard that I was having trouble breathing and everything went dark.
I woke up the next morning in the hospital with Christine and my dad on both sides of me, holding my hands. Apparently I was missing for a week and had no food or water the whole time, so I was extremely malnutritioned and dehydrated.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think about what happened. I’ve been told that they’ve found you and you’re in confinement, so I’m writing you this letter to get the answers you didn’t give to me before. Why did you do it? Why me?
Nov 14
The Very Unfortunate Family Vacation
It was the summer of 2018. My family and I were on our way back from the annual trip to the Rusian River in California, and we had a great time with barely any hiccups. We decided to stay at my Nana’s for the night, who lived in Santa Rosa. There was a water park nearby that we planned to go to the next day before we headed home.
As we were all waking up, my Nana made us breakfast. She made toast, eggs and cut up some fruit for all of us. My siblings and I are not morning people and kind of wanted to just go home and skip the water park, but my dad was very persuasive so we went. Everyone was in a terrible mood, especially my little brother who we call Brendarian when he’s being a monster.
Once we got all settled in, everything was fine. The first slide we went down was a tube that dropped straight down and gave the illusion that you were just freefalling. To be honest it, hurt a tad bit because it had grooves that scratched you, but it was still fun. There was a bunch of slides where you go down on an innertube. We almost flipped over on one because it was a four person ride with a weight restriction, and my dad and brother (who was 8 at the time) were sitting across from each other. The innertube went side to side on the giant slide but then dropped with my dad on the lower part. The innertube then started to tilt forward, and my brother fell on my dad as we leaned to keep it from tipping and laughed it off. We ended up having almost too good of a time, but we left feeling content.
We got back to the car and everything clicked. That feeling I had was spot on. The rear windshield had been broken in; mine and my sister’s huge bags of our favorite clothes were both stolen. On the bright side, they didn’t steal our phones that our dad made us leave in the car. We reported it to the water park, and they got it on camera. The car didn’t have a license plate and you couldn’t see the guys’ faces, so we couldn’t do anything and made our way home.
We didn’t make it past two blocks before my younger sister and dad were arguing. Then, while we were stopped at a stop light, we were rear ended. A teenage girl two cars back was texting on her phone and hit the car behind us, which then hit us. Let me tell you, our car looked like a real hot mess with a broken back windshield and dented bumper on the side of the road.
By the time my dad got everything sorted out, we were all too exhausted to drive all the way home, so we ended up staying with my aunt who lives in Chico. It was already dark only halfway there, so it was a good thing it was a warm night. Then to put a cherry on top of our unfortunate events, a deer ran into the road out of nowhere and we hit it, but Bambi got right up and trotted along.
At that point, it felt like we weren’t going to make it home alive, but we obviously did. My sister and I even got money from our insurance company for new clothes. In the end, it’s a good story to tell and we had fun, besides the disastrous events.