Laying on the beach in the sand

kites in the sky, sand in my hand

kids building castles

ready for battle

As the waves take over the land

one kid surrenders

he has to go home

castle taken by a new pretender

Nature is everywhere

trees, plants, rocks, and water

mother nature, full of love.

Humans, her kids, sons and daughters

She once took care of us

like kids, we went to collage

we all left, Mom still loves us

come back, take care of her, with love

I’ve become good friends

with the monsters under my bed

I lucked out this time

because the monster are nice

saving me from depression

The sun’s out today

bright green grass, birds are chirping

kids playing soccer.

I am heading to the park

to hang out with my buddies

I see the future

different than others do

I see peace and love

everyone works together,

Let’s keep it that way

 face now hot and red

         envying someone’s success

                     I am Jealousy                          

Ben Seefeld-Smith

Short story-Creative writing

Per. 3

1456 words

Safe Place

Today was the first day of school. Normally I wouldn’t be worried about it but it was a new school in a new city, in a new country, on a new continent, so anyone would be nervous. The entire city consisted mostly of huge, peaking skyscrapers everywhere reaching the clouds above. There were people talking, cars honking and taxi’s hunting down people to give them rides for money. The streets were like racetracks for never ending race cars.  The good thing about this school was that it was a K-12 grade school and both of my parents were high school teachers at the same school. Before I even got a chance to finish my bowl of cereal, my mom says to me “It’s time to leave to school Mikey, school starts soon and teachers have to get there early.” I got up, put my bowl in the sink and got ready to go. The school was ginormous. there was a huge field with a track around it, there were playgrounds for the younger kids. There was the main building which was practically the size of my old school. There was a pool inside and the k-8 building was eight stories high. I was in 7th grade so I was directed to the sixth floor. Once I walked into school I realized I was the only foreign kid in my grade.

The bell rings, letting me know to go to my first class which was the classroom to the far right of the story. I get into class and everyone is talking in Korean, I noticed I was getting a lot of stares and people were talking about me in a language I didn’t understand. My face turned a bit red as I walked to my assigned seat. I sat down next to someone named Ryan Kim. The only reaction I got from him all period was a glare when I asked what the homework was. By the end of the day I hadn’t made any new friends but I wasn’t too worried about it.

A week went by and I had only made one friend who, like me, didn’t really have many friends. His name was Jongwoo Park but he said I can call him Brian. He wasn’t super fond of me, he tolerated me. During lunch I typically sat at the table where the other kids didn’t sit. About half way into the first semester was when the kids started using more that hurtful words against me. I got picked on a lot for being the only white kid or for being fat or wierd. One day, I had decided to sit with the other kids hoping nothing too bad would happen.

“Hey Mikey! What is that on the back of your shirt?” I felt my back with my hands. I felt something wet, cold, and a bit sticky on my shirt. I flipped the shirt backwards and immediately knew what it was. Someone had flung the squid ink sauce on my back. I got up quick trying as hard as I could to act like nothing was wrong. The second I leave the cafeteria my eyes started watering up and a tear slipped off my eyelid and ran down my face. I started walking a bit faster hoping no one would see me and mock me. I walked up to my mom’s classroom where she taught and closed the door. As soon as the door closed I started balling my eyes out begging her to leave.

“I hate this school, I hate the kids, I hate myself! I wanna go home to Oregon!” My mom talked me through it and sent me on my way to my next class. Instead of actually going to class, I went into the bathroom and sat in a stall crying and playing video games for the rest of the school day.

I felt like my computer was my only friend, It never gets mad at me or comments on my weight. My computer was a safe place for me, a place where I can live in another reality. A reality where I feel comforted and actually happy. I felt the same way about my room. A place where I can be safe and alone, away from the harassment of the kids at school.

On finals day I had a Biology test and of course with my luck, I forgot the study guide at school and the only person I had as a contact was Ryan. When I asked him for it, I was surprised by the way he reacted. He gave it to me right away without saying anything mean or threatening me. I start studying the guide thinking to myself  “Wow this seems almost too good to be true, how come I don’t remember learning anything that is on this study guide in class?” I get to school the next day, proud of myself for actually studying the guide for the science final. The class started as all the students got in their seats and were given the test. I took it, confused about it all. It took me until the last question and the last five minutes of class to realize why Ryan was so respectful to me last night. He had given me the wrong study guide.

A year goes by and if anything, the bullying got worse. The harassment slowly escalated from teasing to physical harassment. I would get pushed into walls and punched here and then. I was threatened to be “fucked up” if I didn’t give Ryan ten dollars in Korean currency. Finally I decided I had had enough. I arranged a meeting with the middle school principal showing texts of Ryan threatening me but since I said “fuck you”, we were both at fault apparently. The principal claimed and explained to my parents it was a miscommunication between friends and that there was no bullying at this school.

“This is it, I have lost all hope. There is nothing I can do about it. I have to just take it.” The feeling of helplessness had overtaken me. As the year passes, the worse I felt and my parents started to notice. The end of the year approached and it was time for my parents to decide whether or not to sign for two more years teaching in South Korea or to come back home. We had a family discussion on it and decided it was time to go home. I hadn’t felt a feeling like that in so long, I forgot what it felt like to be happy.

The last day of school had arrived. The school had a carnival with a huge bouncy house and countless activities. Everyone was having fun but I just sat on the benches with Brian. We talked the whole day away knowing that we probably wouldn’t every see each other again and for once I actually enjoyed being at school. Ryan and his douchebag friends were too busy to bother us. The end of the day came as I said my last goodbyes to Brian.

A year passed by since the day I left Korea. I had some new friends in my new high school in a familiar country, state, city and high school. I joined a rowing team where I had made friends. Throughout the school year my depression and anxiety got worse and worse. Thoughts of suicide crossed my mind multiple times a day, I was too anxious to stay in class or even in school sometimes. I had PTSD from South Korea from being hated and bullied. The only friends I had in school soon separated from me because of the negative energy I put out. I got my heart broken which triggered me to use drugs. I had hit complete rock bottom. The only feeling I had left in my body was hopelessness, an empty feeling deep in my stomach.

I made one of the hardest but most relieving decisions in my life, a decision that would get me out of the miles deep hole I dug myself into.  Before I could come up with a solid plan to end all the pain once and for all, my dad walked into my room. My room that once felt like a safe place. He explained I was going to be sent to a treatment facility for depressed teens.

At first I was furious at my dad for sending me away for two months but I soon realized my parents had done it to save my life and it did. It has been eight months since treatment and I haven’t felt hopeless ever since.

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