The Sport That Became More

My eyes filled with tears. My mom had just told me news that would flip my world upside down. She told me that I had to move to Eugene. I thought that this only happened in movies. I never thought it would happen to me. My mom gave us about a month until we had to say all our goodbyes. Which turned out to be incredibly difficult. I never knew that you could actually run out of tears. Although that month flew by and it was gone before I knew it. It was my last day. I had to say goodbye to the only place I ever knew. I remember how the weather seemed to mimic my emotions; it poured all day.

The next day I woke up and it was moving day. It seemed like that day dragged on forever. There was so much going on at once, I felt like I was a chicken running around with my head cut off. We finally got the truck loaded, and the hour long drive began. We moved in and got unpacked by eight. That night I stayed up for hours thinking about what my life could be. Then it really hit me I wouldn’t know anyone besides my sister. That was incredibly difficult to think about. I tried not to worry about it because everyone told me that I would make friends in no time.

I woke up excited and nervous for the day I had ahead of me. I was hoping to meet and make some amazing friends. I guess my expectations were too high. The school told my mom to have us arrive 30 minutes early, so we arrived around eight, they then got us id cards and gave us a tour. I felt like a freshman trying to find my way around this gigantic school.

As time went by the hallways slowly began filling. With more students came more stares. I felt like a exhibit in a zoo everyone’s eyes were on me. I started to realize how different I was than everyone else in the halls. This transition would not go as smoothly as everyone told me it would.The bell to go to class rang way to quickly, it was time to go to my first class.

The day dragged by, but when it came to an end I was very relieved. I hadn’t made any friends that day but I was still hopeful that I would make them by the end of the week. As the weeks passed I felt more and more alone. I never imagined that it would be this difficult to make a new friend.

After a month or a few people began talking to my sister and I. I was beyond excited. That excitement faded quickly when I realized that they were talking  me for one reason; they wanted to be more than friends. This hit me hard. Although I knew it wasn’t true it made me feel worthless, and that the only thing people cared about was how my face and body look. I had dealt with this at my other school but I had always had my friends to back me up. I had no one here. I would sit in my room for hours asking myself why no one wanted to take the chance of being my friend, and could never come up with a valid reason. The next few months there was little to no change. Before I knew it my junior year was over, and I was beyond grateful.

Toward the end of the year my volleyball teacher convinced me to try out for the following season. I was unsure if I wanted to. Once I brought up this idea to my mom it wasn’t an option anymore.

Now that it was finally summer I was super excited to see all my friends from Corvallis and to get out of Eugene. I knew this summer would be better than the school  year. The one thing I wasn’t looking forward to was going to the volleyball open gyms during the summer. At this point I felt as though I was a lost cause and that I would never make a friend in Eugene. Even though I knew getting involved was a good idea I was still nervous. Little did I know that I would make friends that I would have forever. I became more and more comfortable after every open gym I went to. Before I knew it summer had ended, and I would be playing varsity volleyball in the fall.

Even though I knew more people going into my senior year I was still incredibly nervous that I would be as miserable as I was the previous year. After my first day I knew that it would be different. Instead of hanging my head down low while I walked the halls with my head held high. After the first few home games it seemed like everyone knew me, even though I had know idea who they were. It was such a relieve to walk the halls unafraid. I know thanks to volleyball I know my senior year will be amazing.

The season recently ended and there was a banquet to celebrate all our success.This was the night that I realized how much South Eugene Volleyball had changed my life. I will be forever grateful for everything that this volleyball program gave me. I learned that volleyball is more than a sport to me. It helped me get my life back on track. I want to encourage anyone that is having a difficult time to get involved, wait a few months and you will end up looking at life more positively.

Posted on November 30th, 2018 by aduffy02
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The Night My Life Changed

The first time I had really encountered sexual harassment was when I was 11. I was at the store with my mom going back to school shopping when I got lost. As I searched for her all of a sudden I felt someone brush past me. He didn’t just pass me, he lightly grabbed my butt, as if I wouldn’t be able to feel it. I did. I instantly started running in the middle of the store yelling. I just wanted to find her so I would be safe again. Later that night I thought to myself, what did I do to deserve this? Is it all my fault? What can I change about myself to make this not happen? The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. As I got older these incidents were becoming more frequent. I could not understand why this kept happening. Was there a reason that I am unaware of ? I just completed my senior year of high school. Until this year I had never realized how bad sexual harassment and abuse is, and how common it is for teenagers and young adults. So I am going to tell you my story in hopes that it will prevent, help end, and bring awareness to this topic.

It all started the night of the first football game. It had been a long night of cheering and laughing; we were even in the lead. It was going to be a great night, or so I thought. After we won the game the whole student section ran onto the field. After I took a few pictures with my friends on the team, a girl named Jane approached me asking me if I was going to go to the after party. I was kind of hesitant, something was telling me that it was a bad idea to go. After a lot of convincing I decided I would go. It was my senior year after all.

When I arrived I was alone. Jane said if I came, I could hang out with her. She was nowhere to be found. What else can I really expect though? She is known for sleeping around especially at parties. As I made my way through the door five things stood out: boys,drugs, alcohol, sex, and more alcohol. I hadn’t been in the house for more than a minute, and there was already a drink placed in my hand. When I looked up to see who handed me the drink, I gasped. He was tall, at least 6’4, he had shaggy brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Before I could say anything he took my hand and dragged me to the dance floor, which was really someone’s living room. In the next five minutes there were very few words exchanged. All of a sudden he roughly grabbed my hips and turned me around so my back would be pressed against his front. I had just met this guy and could tell he only wanted one thing from me, sex. I instantly went against my initial reaction which was to leave; this was a very bad idea. After a few songs of uncomfortable dancing he took my hand and pulled me towards a staircase that lead to the spare bedrooms. As we made our way up the stairs I realized that I needed to get myself out of this awful situation. I would not be a victim. But everything was happening too fast. All of a sudden we were in a bedroom, I was sitting on a stranger’s bed and he was slowly shutting the door. This was the moment in which I began panicking. What was I going to do ? I finally spoke up and asked, “ What are we doing up here?”

“Come on you know exactly what we’re doing, don’t act like you don’t.” He gave me a smirk that will forever be imprinted in my mind. Be brave, Remington, I thought to myself. I finally spoke up and I told him that I wasn’t interested. This is when he flipped, called me names, and tried tugging at my clothes. I was done. I needed to get out of this room that seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. When I got up to leave he picked me up and threw me back down telling me that I wasn’t going anywhere until he got what he wanted. I was terrified. Here I am this five foot nothing girl against this six plus boy. There was no way I would win. I was going to get raped, and it was by far the worst night of my life.

I went home with a tear stained face and his repulsing scent all over my body. I sat in the shower trying to wash away everything that happened an hour ago. I felt hopeless. What did I do to deserve this? Was it my fault ? I spent the next few days cooped up in my room. When I woke up Monday morning, I knew that there was a possibility of seeing him again. I was terrified.

I had almost made it to third period when I felt a familiar grope. It was him. He was here and still harassing me. It the last straw. I yelled at him, embarrassing him in front of the full hallway of people. I said “you did not, and do not have the right to touch me anywhere. Do it again and I am reporting you.” He looked startled for a few seconds. That stupid smirk  was back on his face. But he didn’t believe me and, he grabbed my butt again, but this time holding on a little bit longer. I was shocked. How could he do this to me again? Did he even have a soul? I wasn’t going to let this guy get away with what he did to me. I had to report him, but before I did I had to teach him a lesson. At this point, he had already began to walk away. He acted as if he had already gotten away with it; he didn’t and I wasn’t going to let him. I ran up behind him and tapped on his shoulder. He instantly turned around. That smirk of his still present. I want to slap that smirk of his right off his face. I thought to myself. So that is what I did. The noise of my hand making contact with his face echoed through the hallway. It sounded like a ruler hitting a desk. Everyone around us paused. “ I am going to the counseling center right now to report you for sexual assault and rape. Don’t try to stop me, because I will hit you harder. Maybe give you a black eye. I haven’t decided yet.” He remained silent. As I made my way to the counseling center, I decided that even if is was afraid, I would tell my story because it could help others.

Posted on November 30th, 2018 by aduffy02
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Beautiful Rose

she posed

with a beautiful rose

as she stood she began to think

she can’t blink

he stared

he couldn’t believe he was there

the camera went click

which picture will she pick

he asked her if she would be his beautiful rose

she said I suppose

he took her on a date

they ate

they talked

then went on a walk

he took her home

before he left her alone

he told her she would be missed

then gave her a sweet kiss

to her surprise

she looked into his eyes

And told him she would miss

his kiss

she tried to sleep

but when he entered her thoughts her heart would leap

she hoped her heart would not break

but that was a risk she was willing to take

Rainy Day

With my rain boots on

I was ready for my day

the puddles were dry

Always me

I am always me

I am going to be strong

I am young and wild

I am very smart and kind

I will always be myself

Posted on November 30th, 2018 by aduffy02
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Posted on September 28th, 2018 by aduffy02
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