The Unicorn’s Heart

Sol sighed. The coolness of the lake surrounded her, blue-green water washing away the dirt smeared on her flank. Behind her she heard the splashes and joyful cries of her sons playing.

It was a hot and sticky afternoon in late summer. Cicadas buzzed from the trees and the cloying smell of flowers mixed with dry earth made Sol cough. Her children had their own opinions. Earlier in the day, Coricar had complained the sun was drying out his feathers. Aster had called him childish and added smugly that, as a lion, he was perfectly at home in the heat, and as a griffin, Coricar was technically part lion and so had no right to complain. This comment had sparked a playful battle between them. Coricar had pounced on his brother, sending the two young beasts rolling in the grass and generally dealing with boredom the way many young creatures do. Sol called it off when the boys hit a patch of earth and kicked up enough dust to make them all sneeze. A trip to the lake had made them both happy and clean, and, Sol suspected by the sounds she was hearing, provided a much needed swim to cool off.

It was a strange thing, their family. She, a unicorn who’d designated herself as the forest’s protector, and her sons, orphaned creatures rescued from man’s cruelty. Coricar had belonged to the king of the land with whom Sol made a deal and who was more than willing to part with a baby griffin, after she’d bound him with a magical curse. Aster was a young lion she’d rescued from a circus that passed through the kingdom, one she’d found out about when Coricar said he had heard crying when he went flying at night. The two were nearly the same age and bonded quickly over their similar past. Neither had a family to return to, so Sol offered them herself. It was strange seeing them all together, but after a few years (and a trade deal with the king for dried meat; carnivores, even gentle ones, had to eat somehow) both the inhabitants of the forest and the people who lived in the village near them became used to it. Despite the difficulties, Sol had never felt happier.

She was jolted out of her thoughts by the sound of a twig snapping at the clearing edge. She paused her bathing and scanned the trees, but although she saw nothing, a sense of dread crept into her bones. The clearing around the lake suddenly seemed smaller.

Before Sol could call out to her sons, something arced from the trees. It hit the ground a few feet from the lake’s edge: an arrow with red feathers. Then the clearing exploded. Men burst from the treeline, scruffy and fierce, swarming like ants to a drop of honey. Sol heard her heartbeat pound in her ears. The sound of arrows and shouting raised a clamor so loud she could barely hear the startled cries of the lion and griffin by the lake’s edge. She spun, their anguished noises filling her with fear, and charged for the bank. Arrows seemed to rain from the sky. Sol never felt so far away from her sons as she did while the men with bows and knives were closing in on them.

Then, an arrow found its mark and time seemed to stop. The unicorn cried out, a sharp pain shooting through her. She stumbled, but did not fall. Her eyes were fixed on Aster, as the young lion collapsed into the water with an arrow protruding from his side.

No.

Sol’s legs pumped, fighting the water but her limbs felt so slow, so heavy. She used to be called unicorn, creature, holy ghost, now she was Sol, protector, mother. Her life called out to her from the shallows where it bled into the water and she wasn’t moving fast enough — she wasn’t fast enough.

Coricar cried, the men shouted and one raised a rusty axe to strike. Sol heard herself let out an anguished cry as she lunged forward, fearing she would be too late–

And stopped in shock as the sound of a hunting horn echoed through the clearing. Sol froze like a rabbit in the eyes of a fox. Everyone else seemed to freeze too, the attackers looking uncertain. For the second time that day, men burst from into the clearing, their armored helms and shining swords gleaming in the hazy afternoon sun. At first the unicorn felt fear, but when she saw the scarlet emblems flashing at the newcomer’s chests, the fear bled into confusion.

Why were the king’s men here?

A whimper from the bank snapped her back into motion, and she bolted for her son. The men (bandits or rogues, she assumed from their patchwork appearance and grimy weapons) shook off their stupor as well, and turned to face the king’s men, shouting curses and threats in a human tongue the unicorn didn’t bother paying attention to. Aster moaned when she reached him, his head propped out of the water by a quietly crying Coricar. They both coughed at the spray kicked up when she stopped, but her focus rested solely on the red-feathered arrow in her son’s bloody flank. It was not very deep, but she could not grip it to pull it out. Such a thing required precision, and with her only method of extracting it being her teeth, she couldn’t bear the thought of tearing Aster’s flesh so recklessly. For the first time in her recent memory Sol felt helpless and afraid.

Around her a battle raged: the shouts, the scrape of steel on steel, the metallic scent of human blood. After a moment, she realized no one was coming near them and saw they were protected by a ring of men clad in scarlet and silver. They had their backs to the unicorn and her sons, swinging their blades and serving, Sol realized, as a shield against their attackers. It seemed as soon as she comprehended what was happening, the battle ended. The noise and clamor fell away, and Sol heard Aster’s labored breathing in startling clarity. Amid the abrupt silence, the ring around them parted, and the king strode through.

He was just as tall and broad as when Sol had last seen him, just as gleaming. This time, however, concern supplanted his usual haughty expression. He knelt in the water next to the unicorn, ignoring her protective hiss as he reached out to carefully examine Aster’s wound. After a moment he looked up at her.

“I can remove it” he said, touching the arrow’s red feathers. “If you can heal him swiftly after.”

Sol was startled and wary, but she was more concerned about the pained noises her son was making than the king. She nodded at him. He gazed at her a moment longer, then braced one hand on Aster’s flank and gripped the arrow’s protruding shaft with the other.

“This will hurt,” he warned Coricar, who watched with wide eyes. “Make sure his head stays above the water.”

After a moment’s hesitation, the griffin nodded. The king inhaled sharply, gripped the arrow with a firm hand, and pulled it out.

Aster yowled, thrashing as the barbed head came free. As fast as she could, Sol leaned down and touched her hornfire to the bleeding wound. The tiny blue flame at the tip of her horn made the blood and water fizzle when it made contact with the lion’s flesh, but caught quickly and burned at the torn edges of the wound until the bleeding stopped and Aster’s flesh was whole again. At that, all three creatures let out a relieved sigh and Sol pushed down the urge to cry. The king stood and handed the bloodied arrow to one of his men, who handed it to another man carrying a bag filled with weapons taken from the bandits. As she stood, the king’s men withdrew. A short distance away the bandits had been bound and surrounded by a ring of soldiers, though this time intended to contain instead of defend. Many of the captives were wounded, and although none had died, their faces were pale as they eyed the soldiers’ swords.

Hot rage bubbled up in the unicorn at the sight of their sweaty, bleeding faces. With uncharacteristic malice, she wanted to burn their hearts out. She’d barely had the thought, however, when the king coughed to get her attention. Whether he’d spied the flash of murderous anger in her face or not, he seemed uncomfortable under her gaze when she faced him.

“Why did you help me?” Sol asked, cutting off whatever he was going to say. His expression faltered. He looked nervous, almost bashful.

“Because you… help me,” he said. “And despite our deal, I wished to… return the aid in equal measure.”

Sol blinked at him. “But I am the one who caused your blindness in the first place. Had I not cursed you, you would not have need of my help.”

The king surprised her by smiling.

“I suspect,” he said with sudden warmth in his tone, “that no matter what condition my eyes are in, I see more clearly now than I ever did before.”

Sol was taken aback. This man, who years before had tried to capture her and use her powers for his own gain, now seemed a stranger to the man who stood in front of her. This king was somehow softer, older, and Sol felt a summery warmth bloom in her chest.

“You are offering an alliance?” she asked.

The king nodded, all nervousness melted away. “Or even friendship, if it please you. I wish to help you as you have helped me, be it in resources, knowledge, or protection.”

“A generous offer,” Sol admitted. “And one I will consider. If you hold to your word, in return, I too will provide aid if you need it, be it in magic, knowledge, or protection.”

The king smiled at her and swept into a bow. His cloak and boots were wet with lake water and his hands smeared with blood, but he looked every inch his ancestor, the ruler Sol made the first deal with so many years ago. But kinder, perhaps. She wondered at how quickly he was able to change, how different he was now. Perhaps he was not even changed at all, and merely seeking to manipulate himself into her favor. His eyes, however, seemed sincere. Coricar and Aster, who until then had been silently watching the proceedings, chose that moment to speak up.

“Mother!” Coricar cried behind her. He seemed indignant. “How do we know he isn’t lying?” Beside him Aster sat with evident fatigue, but seemed equally indignant. He let out a grunt.

“He saved our lives,” Sol reminded them, clicking her tongue in disapproval. She looked directly into the king’s eyes and spoke gently. “He must prove his intentions are good before I trust him fully. But if he truly seeks an alliance, or friendship, I would welcome it.”

The king nodded respectfully.

“I thank you for your help,” Sol said. She turned to her children and flicked her tail dismissively. “Now I ask you to leave. I want those men,” she hissed at the bandits, “out of my forest.”

“Yes,” the king waved his hand, indicating to his soldiers to shepherd the bandits out of the clearing. With a final bow to Sol, he waded out of the lake to where a footman held the reins of his horse. The unicorn was focused on her sons before his scarlet cloak had even left the water.

“Are you alright?” she asked, leaning down to nuzzle their faces and necks for any other injuries. Coricar spluttered with embarrassment at her fretting, but Aster just sighed tiredly and closed his eyes.

“We’re fine, mother,” he said. His mane was slicked down by water and it made him look somehow older.

“Let’s get out of the water, my feathers are wet!” Coricar complained, in an attempt, Sol suspected, to lighten the mood.

“Of course, dear,” Sol replied, smiling at him gratefully. Aster just frowned and squinted accusingly at his brother.

“I thought you said the heat was drying out your feathers,” he said. Coricar shrugged.

“It was.”

“Then what are you complaining about?”

“They’re too wet now,” Coricar said in the tone one used to explain simple things to children. Aster growled. He’d seemingly forgotten his exhaustion at being shot.

“I can’t believe you!” he cried, lunging at the griffin. Coricar laughed and dodged easily, dancing out of the water and flicking his tail in a teasing manner, which only riled his brother up more.

Sol watched them play from the shallows, a funny feeling in her chest. She had the sudden notion that the thing she felt was not her heart, because indeed it seemed her heart was running around a flowering clearing in front of her. She realized with a sudden terrible clarity that if her sons were to die, she would surely die as well. And as long as they were happy, she was happy. She’d never understood the claims humans made about this feeling before this moment. Now, it was as strong as the sun shining down on her and the humming of the cicadas in the trees.

How strange, she thought. How wonderful.

Winged Worker for the Queen

Princess Zinaida Aleksandrovna Volkonskaya,

I was first drawn in by your voice.

Honey-sweet and cloying

It made me cough

And even the champagne you handed me when I walked into your salon

Couldn’t wash it away.

 

You may be a lady-in-waiting for Queen Louise

But I am a lady-in-waiting for you.

Fluttering and buzzing in your periphery,

Standing in line behind the man you loved

And the man you married to cover it up.

I long to stand by your side as you sing

Soak up that honey and store it away like a worker bee.

Indeed, underneath the alcohol of your breath

In the crook of your neck

In the the plunging neckline of your dress

I can smell flowers.

 

You moved more than once and I moved with you,

Sneaking into your house behind

Adam Mickiewicz,

Yevgeny Baratynsky,

Dmitri Venevitnov

Alexander Pushkin.

I watched from the shadows as you played hostess

To men who did not appreciate you as I did.

They may have found and shared their flower fields

But I helped build your hive.

 

Your life was a buzzing affair.

You displeased Nicholas I when you threw a farewell party

For the wives of Decemberists exiled to Siberia.

We sat with them and toasted with flutes of expensive alcohol

And were treated to the flutes of your expensive voice.

And I sat by your elbow and soaked it up

And the drink in my hand was water compared to how drunk I felt

Off the nectar of your song.

 

You came under suspicion of being a secret convert to Catholicism

And the pressure made you move again

And as always,

I followed.

You hosted another salon

And again I felt myself again standing in line

Buzzing impatiently,

My aching throat desiring nothing more than

Your honey voice to soothe it.

 

Your death was quiet,

Far too quiet for the cacophony of revelry you lived.

I sat with you,

Held your hand,

Felt it tremble,

And felt the tremble of your coughs as they battered you

And you told me you wished for a soothing balm for your throat

And might I sing for you?

And devoted worker as I was

I could not laugh at the irony

So I sang

Quietly

And you smiled and told me it was like soaking up sunlight

And I felt something sweet and golden

Drip from my eyes.

To My Sister

Your laughter makes me smile

Your humor does too

Every moment’s worthwhile

When I spend it with you

 

You’re filled with such passion

Such wonder and grace

A colorful fashion

And a round, smiling face

 

Bright enough to grow flowers

You’re hard-working and fun

You’re entertainment for hours

In my heart, number one

 

You and me together

All the things we did

We’re like rain and sunny weather

Guess what? I love you, kid

Life Isn’t Fair

There once was a woman who lived in a town

Surrounded by country and flowers.

She was often seen with a white woven basket

Walking through fields for hours.

Those who approached her ailing or hurt

She dropped down to help, getting mud on her skirt.

 

But what is life if not ideal?

It matters not what we see, think, or feel.

We face joy and hardships

From our births to our deaths,

‘Till the moment we take our final breaths.

 

The woman may have helped too much

So magical did she appear.

She healed those in need with a kind, gentle touch

And wiped away every tear.

Word of her healing spread far and wide,

So when they came for her, there was nowhere to hide.

 

But what is life if not ideal?

It matters not what we see, think, or feel.

We face joy and hardships

From our births to our deaths.

‘Till the moment we take our final breaths.

 

At a wooden steak the woman burns,

Her hands bound tight with twine.

Her tear-stained face tilts towards the sky,

She’s running out of time.

It shouldn’t have been her time to die,

But what is life if not goodbye?

Angry Enough

Anger is like an ocean in me

Foaming and frothing violently

Like a tidal wave that sinks sailors and ships

I hold bitterness trapped between my lips

There’s so many things I want to say

Though they don’t matter anyway

 

But one day I’ll break

And it’ll come pouring free

Those hurt feelings and hateful words

Will burst forth like the sea

 

Sometimes I get mad over little things

With the kind of fury years of hatefulness brings

I’ve been battered with waves for so many years

One tap to the glass and I burst into tears

But I’m yelling and angry as it pours from my eyes

A helpless torrent of fury from someone who tries

 

Because some days I break

And it comes pouring free

These hurt feelings and hateful words

Burst forth like the sea

 

Sometimes I need to let things go

Let frustrations drip off me like melting snow

Though the seeing ocean will be in me still

And some days I fear it will overfill

If I seek shore with a level head

Through my angry ocean I will forge ahead

Don’t You Want?

Longing is told he sighs too much,

daydreams too much,

and he wishes he could melt into snow.

 

He’s soft looking,

quiet most of the time,

but somehow he’s always surrounded by friends.

 

He likes to sit on their laps

and run gentle fingers through their hair as they talk,

and he talks too,

and even though he’s been told his voice is almost too breathy to catch,

everyone hears him and finds themselves wishing for things they’ve lost or never had.

 

Some days,

he clings to the arms of his friends just a little too tightly.

He talks about houses he wants to live in,

flowers he wants to grow,

places he wants to visit.

He’s restless.

He’s wistful.

He wants so much.

 

The King’s Eyes

The unicorn panted with exertion, her mane and flank damp with sweat. A dozen of the king’s men surrounded her, swords and spears ready. They were bruised, covered in cuts, and red-faced in the summer heat. A slash on her flank bled glimmering silver. The magical flame flickering at the tip of her horn cast the faintest blue glow.

Clad in silks and a heavy scarlet cloak, the king stood outside the circle by the edge of the clearing, a net in one hand. Many years before, a truce had been made between the unicorn and the king’s ancestor. None of his people would enter the forest or hunt its creatures, in return for the unicorn lending her healing magic to his people when summoned — though not for cases easily handled by a human doctor. The truce spared many lives over the years, animal and human. However, that king had died long ago and the current ruler clearly did not keep promises as well as his forefathers.

“Yield, pitiful creature!” the king crowed, grinning.

“No,” she breathed. She was ancient, magical, timeless. Despite her fatigue, she could endure a few hours yet.

The king’s grin widened. “Why fight so fiercely? Surely the fate of this…” He paused to shake the net he held. “…creature does not affect you.”  Barely larger than a fox, the young griffin trapped inside whined pitifully.

The unicorn stood straighter, sunlight glinting off her pearlescent horn. “You broke the sacred agreement, made by a king much wiser than yourself.”

The king scoffed. “My grandfather was a fool. This forest offers so much; he would trade its riches for a unicorn’s healing! He could have enjoyed both if he’d captured you.”

Pacing, he dragged the net behind him and eyed the unicorn as one eyes a vault of gold.

“Besides,” he continued, gesturing to the griffin “I entered the forest to reclaim something of mine, not to hunt. You are just a…gift, yes?”

“You shall not depart unharmed,” the unicorn warned.

She did not wish to kill him, for she had sworn never to take human life, and she wanted to preserve their agreement. She also did not wish to move homes, should the king continue seeking her. And that poor griffin still squirmed in the confines of the king’s net. The unicorn’s heart melted with the desire to help him.

The king’s men, silent while their sovereign and the unicorn spoke, now began to shift restlessly. The summer heat was wearing on everyone’s patience. The unicorn spun toward the man nearest to her and flicked her horn, sending his sword flying into the grass. He gave a cry of surprise, and everything burst into motion again. The soldiers converged on the unicorn, swinging their blades at her soft whiteness. She reared, scattering them. When they charged again, she wove between them, twisting away from their steel and spear points. One of them managed a slash across her haunches. She stumbled, hissing in pain, but did not fall. Silver blood gleamed on the grey dappling of her hindquarters and legs. She knocked blades out of hands, slipped gracefully between shouting bodies. The scent of her blood filled her mouth; it was like biting silver coins.

She had to end this soon. The heat was tiring her faster than expected. Dodging attack after attack, the unicorn searched for the king. He was watching the battle from the clearing’s edge. She kicked her feet and raced towards him.

Almost there…

There.

She reared before him. His men were close; she had to act swiftly. The king barely had time to react before her horn slashed the air before his eyes, hornfire blazing bright blue. His scream echoed through the clearing. His men fell silent.

“Son of Man,” the unicorn declared, her voice echoing. “You have turned a blind eye to the sacred agreement between our people. Therefore, I blind you in truth.”

The king whimpered, his fire and bluster snuffed out.

“I will restore your vision for a span of time, but only if you follow our agreement. Swear your people will not enter this forest, and in return I will visit once a year to heal you when your vision fades. Do you agree?”

The king muttered a curse under his breath, panicked and furious in equal measure.

Do you agree?

He bowed his head. “Yes.

“Good. I will come to you in one month — if you keep the bargain.”

She stepped aside to allow the king’s men to approach. Two led him away towards the forest’s edge. Another reached for the net, but she placed her hoof on it and glared at him until he fled with the others.

When she could no longer hear them, she bent to the net and freed the griffin. He emerged, honey brown and gazing at her with wide, awed eyes.

“Thank you for rescuing me.”

The unicorn smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“Are you alright?” He eyed the silver smears on her flank. She blinked. She’d almost forgotten them.

“Never fear, little one.”

She knelt, turning to touch her hornfire to the bleeding cuts on her flank and haunches. Her blood fizzled and popped at the fire’s touch, and after a moment, the fire caught and burned along each cut until her flesh was smooth again. The griffin watched with interest and concern. When she stood, he let out a relieved sigh.

The unicorn tilted her head. “Do you have anywhere to go, little griffin?”

His feathered ears flicked down sadly. “No.”

“Would you like to stay with me?”

“Really?” He fluffed with excitement, and she chuckled.

“Yes.”

The griffin sighed. “I would like that very much!”

“Do you have a name, little one?” The feeling in the air was lighter now, gentler.

“Coricar.” He sounded as though a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “What’s yours?”

“Sol,” she replied.

“Soul?”

The unicorn laughed. “Perhaps that, too.”