I never would have thought I could have ever lost the bet. The bet I stupidly made exactly two weeks ago while drunk at a party was one I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to live down, or maybe even live through. Yes, I am a dramatic person but I could have died. Two weeks ago I stupidly made the bet with my best friend Elijah, that if I was able to beat him in a drunk obstacle race around the kitchen then he would go to a young entrepreneurs convention that was said to be the most boring event you could attend. The catch was that if lost the bet I would have to camp by myself, in the middle of nowhere, for an entire five days. I was not a camper so I was determined to win this stupid bet and watch my friend suffer in a stuffy classroom. Everything went to hell when I jumped over the bench, tripped on the chair leg, and fell face first onto the cold tile floor. That was the exact moment I realized how destined to die I was.
August 12, 2019
It’s been five hours, twenty-six minutes, and seven seconds since I was dropped off in the middle of fucking nowhere. I didn’t know where Elijah was taking me so I started to get confused when he turned off the highway onto a gravel road and then thirty minutes later the gravel road changed to dirt. Within five minutes, he pulled off to the side of the road and told me that if I walked for a few minutes I would find a clearing where I could set up my camp. I wondered where my bellhop was.
It’s day one and I already feel myself going crazy so I have made the decision to document every day of this “adventure” so that when a wandering park ranger finds my cold dead body they are able to tell my parents that I love them. If only I was an outdoorsy person then I would maybe be able to make it in this harsh situation; sadly I am not. Before I was shoved into Elijah’s car I was handed supposedly everything I would need to survive the next five days. Included were: a bag of food, lots of water, a sleeping bag, a tent, and a small tin of stuff I can only assume will help me build a fire. I’ve never built a fire in my life and it is getting dark and I have no idea what to do. This is just great.
August 13, 2019
All I know how to make is oatmeal and the only thing I want to know at this point in my life is what idiot came up with the idea of oatmeal. It looks like baby shit and tastes like nothing. If I ever make it back to civilization I am going to appreciate my Captain Crunch infinitely more than I ever have. It is day two out of five and I don’t understand why people do this whole “camping thing” for fun. Last night I figured out how to get the stupid tent up and when I did, all I had to sleep with was a blowup pillow and my sleeping bag that I got when I was about ten years old. I’m bored and tired and I just want to go home to my dorm and pass out. As I look around, all I see are trees and pine needles covering the forest floor. Maybe I will go check out the space and make sure there are no bear caves, or I could simply sit on my log and continue to think about all the fun things my friends are doing right now.
August 15, 2019
I am past the point of going crazy. I have gone crazy. I haven’t talked to a human besides myself in almost three days and I spent the entire day yesterday napping and eating dry Cheerios that Elijah kindly put in a Ziplock bag with a warning about bears written on it in Sharpie. The whole nature thing is starting to grow on me because there aren’t lines I have to wait in for practically everything; however, I still don’t understand why people would choose to eat freeze dried bag food and sleep on pine needles when there are hotels with delicious room service and beautiful views overlooking the ocean. That’s where I want to be right now, not here, too far away from civilization to have WIFI. I can’t wait until tomorrow afternoon when my friend shows up in his red truck to pick me up and finally take me home to my cozy bed and the microwave.
August 16, 2019
Today is the day, thank God. Being out here in the middle of nowhere has been the longest time of my life and I have never been more ready to lie on my bed and use WIFI in my entire life. I’m gonna be honest, the whole wilderness thing has sort of grown on me a lot. My favorite part has been that I haven’t had to deal with city life things like trash on the street, cigarette smoke, and homeless people harassing you for money. I kinda love the crunchy pine needles and the pretty trees because their smell reminds me of long walks in the park with my friends. Overall I’m just happy I haven’t been eaten by a bear or died yet because I was pretty sure that was what was going to happen. I have decided to reflect on this experience how teachers ask you to reflect on projects, which sounds stupid, but there are definitely some things I need to put into writing because I need to remember them forever. 1) Never make a bet at a party. 2) Don’t ever take Captain Crunch for granted. 3) Go camping more but never forget to bring a sleeping mat and a real pillow. Overall this whole “adventure” hasn’t been all bad but I am never making a stupid bet at a party ever again because my obstacle racing skills just aren’t at a level where I can put the fate of my life in them.
