There I was  shivering at the base of the “Bloody Knuckle” a boulder that had defeated me months before. Looking up at the six meter wall, my fingers frozen and bloody, I reached down and pulled a brush from my chalk bucket. Jamming the brush into the vertical slot, I brushed the rock vigorously letting the chalk billow into the air. Reaching back down into my chalk bucket I grabbed a chalk ball and slapped the rock, letting new fresh chalk cover the rock in white dust. I leaned close to the rock and blew gently into the brutal start, forcing chalk to settle in the deepest part of the curved sharp gash. I then crouched close to the terrible paper edge-like foot holds, and brushed.  Dirt and sand fell away from the rock. I stood up still frozen, as warm as I could ever get in this weather. At least the freezing rain or snow had not started falling. I reached into my chalk bag and coated my hands in the flour-like dust, rubbing it deep into the crevasse and calluses in my hands. I stepped back, looking up at the climb, closed my eyes and mimed the moves of the route, first with just my hands. Then I repeated the process two more times with hands and feet.

 I rubbed my hands in chalk again, remembering back to a few months ago, standing in the icy rain with shredded and bloody fingertips. I had  placed my hands into the crack for the tenth time and placed my feet on the small feet. I jumped to the 5 millimeter edge with my right hand, I pushed myself up with my left hand in the crack letting the sharp rock dig into my fingers, forcing my pinky down the crack. As I bumped my right hand up to the bigger ledge,  I felt the fingers on my left hand rip out of the crack. As they did so, my feet slipped off and all my weight went onto my right hand. I felt my nails dig sharply into my fingers. Even through the cold I could feel the tops of my fingers start to bleed. As my right hand fingers complained under the weight of my body I brought my left hand up to rest on top of my right so I could put one of my feet back onto another table edge. I then bumped my left hand to the bigger sharp crimp. I jammed my left foot into the crack feeling my toe complain in the cold, tight climbing shoe. As I reached my right hand up to cross over to the sharp and uneven ledge above, my head my left hand fired off the crimp, ripping the fingertips. My feet slid down the wall and I landed in a heap on the cold crash pads. I sat defeated, taking off my shoes and patching up my bloody hands. I thought that I must come back as soon as possible to finish this climb. 

I snapped back to reality, looking up at the climb that had defeated me a few months ago. The tall face of small crimps and edges with the terrible feet and sharp rocks taunted me, daring me to attempt it again. I took a deep breath and gently blew on my hands, blowing off the extra chalk. I placed my left hand into the curving sharp slot for the straight. It was only about half an inch deep at most. I could feel the skin on my left pinky wanting to rip apart as I weighted my hands. I placed my right foot on the small terrible high foot hold. I then fully weighted my hands, feeling the rock tear into my skin as I swung my left foot up to a small crack almost as high as my hands. I then stood up awkwardly, reaching up with my right hand to the small edge. My right foot left its small hold and most of my weight was being held with my left hand in the vertical slot. I could feel my left foot wanting to slip. I willed myself to hold on to the rock as I bumped my right hand up to a bigger edge. As I did so, my left foot slipped out of the crack. I stabbed both of my feet back onto the wall, smearing my feet, attempting to get the weight off of my hands. I could feel my pinky slide to the bottom of the slot, the rock cutting sharply into my skin. I yanked my left hand out of the slot and reached it up to a slightly larger three finger crimp. I grasped it, feeling my feet slip from the wall. I knew it was finished. I had made it past the hard part. I jammed my left foot in to the starting slot and stabbed my right foot to a small edge with my elbow. Then I reached my right hand over my left arm to a larger edge. And I placed my right foot on the small edge below where my right hand had just been. I brought my left hand to the edge where my right hand had been, squeezing them together to bring my feet up to the previous handholds. I jumped to the huge shelf about three feet over my head. I felt so excited that I was only one move from the top. The rock was still wet and I felt a small feeling of fear as I matched my hands on the wet shelf and reached up to the top of the cliff. I then brought my left foot up to a small slippery foot. I looked down; fifteen feet below me I saw the two small crashpads. I looked back up at the wet rock and heaved myself over the top of the wall. As I topped the climb out, I could feel my hands and feet slipping on the rock and pine needles. I stood up looking down on the climb that had defeated me in the past. I was done! 

On the mile long high back to the car I began to wonder what was next for me to do, what would be the next challenge. 

The clouds roll over 

Stormy and dark full of rain

Whistling of wind

The clouds begin to thunder 

Lightning strikes distant hill tops

The dawn awakens 

Sun beams cut threw tall tree tops 

Birds chirp and sing 

Storm drains overflow

Polluted waters flood

Mud washes down hills 

Fire burns

Trees crack and break 

Ice melts

Mountain sides tumble

The earth shakes 

What have we done 

Why have we trashed our planet 

Our dear earth

It comes to an end

I sat up and looked around at the sleeping passengers and a few flickering TV screens. I rubbed my eyes and listened to the rumbling of the plane. I started to feel excited and anxious because I knew we were only minutes away from Paris. I cracked my window slide letting sunlight rush into the dark cabin, as I leaned over to peer out. I saw through the bright beams of light into the endless miles of gray stone and red rooftops of Paris. Mixed into they gray stone were vivid patches of green plants and the strips of glittering blue, the huge canals and rivers. As I saw the glittering blue water I remembered back to around a year ago sliding up the shade on the plane window and peering out and seeing the worm glittering ocean of South Africa. I began thinking of my trip to Rocklands hoping I would find my way back there sometime, I sat daydreaming about the beautiful rock formations in the wide spread out desert with the abundance of perfect boulders.

 I snapped back to reality out of my memories as the intercom switched on and one of the flight crew began to speak, “Bonjour, nous allons bientôt commencer notre descente vers l’aéroport Charles de Gaulle.” I internally laugh at myself thinking, why did I come all the way to France with no understanding of French. 

The flight attendant switched to english saying, “Good morning, we will shortly be starting our descent to Charles de Gaulle airport.” I began to feel excited again, wishing we would get there soon.

 I was glad that I was sitting in first class with lots of extra room at my feet, and compared to the other seats of the plane the first class seat felt like a king sized bed. I looked out the window again seeing straight up into the blue sky as the plane made a sharp turn, the sky began to blere as the plane swooped the other way dipping down into the soft fluffy clouds, my stomach plummeted unpleasantly. I could see the gray stones of the city rushing up to me through the light gray strands of clouds making my stomach lurch again. The plane then leveled, leaving my stomach miles above us. For a moment I had wondered how often planes would plummet into the ground, after the violent movements in the previous minutes. I quickly forgot the thought as I began to hear babies and toddlers crying and wailing in the back of the plane as their ears begin to pop. It was hard to tell from looking out of my window but it seemed the plane was speeding up dramatically and I was a little confused. The plain began to dip and I saw the gray stone buildings rushing up to us again. This is a little unusual, I thought, my heart speed up a bit and  I clenched my muscles. 

Just then the intercom came on, “Bonjour, votre copilote est en train de parler. Malheureusement, il y a eu un dysfonctionnement mécanique. Nous ne pouvons ni préparer le train d’atterrissage ni ouvrir les volets de frein. Nous allons donc effectuer des tests mécaniques pour voir si nous pouvons faire fonctionner l’avion comme d’habitude.” after the announcement there was a silence and people looked at eachother and there was murmuring in French that I could not understand. 

A chill went up my spine and I looked around me, and then out the window in fear and confusion as the intercom came back on, “ Hello this is your co pilot speaking, unfortunately there has been a mechanical malfunction and we cannot prepare the landing gear or open the brake flaps so we will be running some mechanical tests to see if we can get the plane working as usual.” there was another long pause as people who only know english realize what the situation was. 

I sat up straight and looked out the window and down seeing how far the city of paris was. I looked back behind me down the aisle seeing worried faces and people holding close to each other. I began to feel even more panic and my heart began to pound even harder, as I looked back out the window at the miles of stone rushing under us. I wondered how likely it was that we would survive a crash at this speed. I started to hear crying and commotion mostly coming from the back of the plane full of passengers pail and sweating.

 Flight attendant hurried by with a worried and panicked expression, probably not returning any of the passengers. I sat still and not moving or speaking frozen in terror thinking how bady could this go and am I going to die. I shook out of my trance still having shivers run up my back as the intercom came on, “c’est votre capitaine qui parle, j’ai couru les procédures mécaniques et évalué la situation. J’ai été en contact avec la tour de contrôle et l’aéroport. Malheureusement, nous n’avons pas été en mesure de régler la situation actuelle, nous allons donc procéder à un atterrissage contrôlé en crash, ne vous inquiétez pas, cet atterrissage est plus facile à réaliser qu’il en a l’air. Il y aura beaucoup de véhicules d’urgence sur le terrain où nous allons atterrir, ils sont là en cas d’imprévu. Après l’atterrissage, nous serons assistés par une équipe extérieure à la navette. Nous commencerons la terre dans quelques minutes, au moment où j’ai travaillé sur les derniers détails et encerclé la zone d’atterrissage pour ralentir. S’il vous plaît, restez calme et suivez les instructions, merci.” After this there was a long pause as passengers shifted in there seats and clutched each other. 

My heart began to pound even harder, I clutched the sweet and thought the worst as the captain begin to speak in english, “This is your captain speaking, I have ran threw the mechanical procedures and assessed the situation. I have been in contact with the control tower and the airport. Unfortunately we have not been able to fix the situation at hand so we will be performing a controlled crash landing, please do not be alarmed this landing is easier to perform that it sounds. There will be lots of emergency vehicles at the field we will be landing in, they areprecosinary in case of an unexpected event. After we land we will be assisted by an outside crew to the shuttle bus. We will begin the land in a few minutes as I worked out the last details and circle the landing area to slow down. Please remain calm and follow directions, thank you.” 

I let in a gasp and pulled my seatbelt tighter, and rested my hands over my head as I leaned against the seat in front of me like we were shown how to do in a crash landing. I could hear people crying and  could feel people unwillingly put themselves into the crash landing position. I felt the plane turn, I braced myself for impact, I felt us moving closer to the ground as I dug my nails into the palm of my hand. I could hear the screams of the passengers in french and enlish, they all meant the same. Fear swept through the plain like wildfire. Over the screaming and crying of the passengers a much greater roar drowned them out as the shell of the plain kissed the top layer of the earth, I wanted to plug my years, but I couldn’t move, I was frozen with fear as we scraped then tipped and rolled and it seemed to go on forever, the violent movements and the thrashing and screeching of metal.  after it seemed like days the chaos seemed to slow there was lots of dust and a few moans, groans, clangs and bangs and then almost a silence, we had stopped. I looked up, rubbing dust out of my eyes and wiping my face. My window had shattered and there was debris and junk all around me but I didn’t seem to be hurt at all. I pinched myself to see if I was actually alive. I was to my surprise, I had made it to france alive.