Sudden Silhouettes
It was one of those cooler crisper days in Phoenix. I wiggled my way to the edge of my bed and slid on my favorite fuzzy slippers, petting them first like they were small animals. Even though today seemed normal as far as I could tell the weather gave me a bad feeling deep down. I went downstairs to try and find the source of this feeling I couldn’t shake. Every step I took felt colder and colder almost like my steps knew what was coming. I got to the bottom of the stairs to see my grandma watching t.v. like any other normal day. As soon and I turned the corner into the living room and my grandma rushed over to me and pulled me over to the couch and sat me down next to her. She held my hands, her old skin felt soft as silk.
A few moments of silence occurred and my grandma finally spoke.
“ I got a call this morning Katherine, and they said on the way to your mother’s graveyard shift she got into a fatal car crash.” My grandma whispered.
I stood up immediately like I had somewhere urgent to be but i didn’t know how to feel or do.
Was my mom actually dead? How did this happen? And what’s going to happen to me now?
I couldn’t even get a word out i just ran. The screen door slammed behind me and I heard my grandma yelling “Wait” in the distance but I physically couldn’t stop running.
Eventually I found myself at a park, one my mom and used to take me too as a little girl every Friday evening. I sat at the same swing that I used to as a child and tried to sort my thoughts out. I closed my eyes and relieved all my favorite memories of me and my mom. My thoughts were interrupted by the chains of the swing clanking, i look up to see my grandma about to take a seat next to me. Her face was blank with no expression and immediately I felt resentment like how could she just not care?
“Just say it” I exclaimed, i could no longer not know what happened to my mother.
She gulped and said “Darling there is so easy way to say this but your mother didn’t make it after the accident.”
After hearing that I finally broke down in front of her bringing my head to my knees and sobbing. I never in a million years thought i would be without a mom, but here I am 14 years old and mom less and i’ve never had a father. Once i could finally speak again I looked at my grandma who still was showing no emotions about this and said
“ So what’s going to happen to mom and I’s house?”
She shook her head and said “ imm sorry Katherine but it will be sold and you can come live with me.”
“ Im not living with you” I yelled back
“Well then what are you gonna do Katherine?” she said softly.
“You have nowhere else?”
“Anywhere but here i’m not gonna live with someone who could care less about my mom dying.”
“Are you a robot why haven’t you shed even a single tear since my mom passed?’ she still never spoke so i decided to say one last thing.
“You don’t even care but I do so just leave me alone and forget I was ever a part of your family.”
All night I’ve been walking around town thinking what my life had come too and how I got here. I also have been thinking about what I did to deserve this kids aren’t meant to be mom less at this age. It eventually got chilly as 5 am hit so I decided to try and head back to the park and try to sleep on a bench. My legs dragged along the dirt smelling the fresh dew coating the grass. Once I arrived at the park and got a closer look I saw a sudden silhouette standing there which looked a lot like my grandma. “Your still here, i told you to just forget it.” I said.
I walked a little closer and the silhouette disappeared and no one was there anymore but a voice still answered, the only voice I wanted to hear.
“ Hey honey” the all too familiar voice spoke.
“Mom?” I said confused on if i was really hearing this right.
“ Honey why did you leave grandma, she needs you just as much as you need her right now.” she said softly.
“Because she didn’t shed a tear when she found out what happened to you, so if she doesn’t care then i can’t live with her.’’ I yelled.
“Honey, Grandma didn’t cry in front of you but trust me she grieves on her own time, and she didn’t cry to stay strong for you that’s just what she does.”
“ So grandma didn’t cry because she wanted to be there to support me?’’
“Yes love the longer you know grandma the more your used to her personality, now go apologize to her kathy, i’ll be watching.’’
I heard a small wind gust and I knew what I had to do now. I ran back to my new home at my grandmas house and jumped the fence to use the back door. I ran in and saw my grandma sitting there just staring off almost like she was brain dead. She didn’t notice me yet so i just observed her for a few moments. What my mom had said to night had to be true cause in front of me she was strong and like it didn’t affect her but now that she is alone she is grieving in her own way. I ran around the corner and ran into my grandmas arms and squeezed her as tight as I could. I immediately started crying thinking of how much extra pain i caused my grandma. It was then that I was honored to have her as my grandma, my best friend, and new mom.
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Gone before you know.